Francisco Rodriguez comes from a footballing family. His oldest brother, Roberto, played at the highest level in Switzerland, and his other brother, Ricardo, has played 120 times for the Swiss national team. Francisco, the youngest of the three, made over 100 appearances in the Swiss Super League, but injuries and mental health issues were also part of his career. This is his story.
By Francisco Rodriguez
I experienced my most difficult period in 2019 and 2020 when I was playing at Lugano. After many injuries, I fell into a hole. I had moderate depression, but I did not know about it at first. After discussions with my family and a psychologist, I checked myself into a clinic. I was out of football for about nine months.
I needed a compete break. Looking back, it was a good decision. When I felt I was ready, I went back to normal life, step by step. Since then, I have still had injuries, but I have managed to deal with them. I have managed to come back from them and showed what I am capable of.
I have to say that Lugano were very supportive. They kept my situation private. Back then, that was important to me. I wasn't able to express myself the way I can today, and I really wasn't feeling well. If it had been public then, it would have been a problem for me. Now, though, talking about it is a kind of therapy.
I'm paying a lot more attention to my own mental health. That means structuring my own life. When another difficult phase comes, I make the right decisions. I recently had some injuries again and there is nothing great about not being on the field – it’s something the fans, even the family, sometimes can’t understand. But now I know that there are more important things than football.
My mother died of cancer when I was in my early twenties. That was very difficult. Life is not all about the game. Family and friends are important.
What has also helped is keeping a journal and writing down my thoughts. The most important thing I learned is that not everything has to stay in your head. You can also put it somewhere else.
My injuries before that difficult time were not the only thing that caused my problems, but rather they were the final straw. I also struggled to process my career and the success I had so early on. The fact that my older brother Ricardo is so successful [he won the U-17 World Cup with Switzerland, played for VfL Wolfsburg and AC Milan] certainly played a role too. When I was young, I couldn't understand this, but of course subconsciously there was definitely pressure on me.
To this day, people still say that I had a better chance of having a big career in football than my brother. These expectations were always there. But looking back, all I can say is that I gave my best at every club. I'm here today and I'm happy. I'm glad my career took the path it did.
As I started processing what was happening with me, I also realised that I could help others. I naturally like to help others. That's not always a good thing, but I saw myself in the role of talking about it because I knew that mental health among high-performance athletes is not always considered. Everyone expects something from us. They think because we earn so much, we have to always perform. That thought-process has to change.
A Swiss broadcaster had heard that I had been in a clinic and asked me if I was willing to talk about it. I agreed to because I felt I could help other athletes, other people. I thought if I can somehow get people to talk about their problems to others, then my job is done.
The reaction has been fantastic. A lot of people have said that me speaking about my struggles has helped them speak about theirs. Depression is not something that one is always aware of. It often comes without forewarning. In my case, I had everything: I was a professional footballer, earning good money, playing in the first division in Switzerland. But it still happened.
About three years ago, I joined up with a former team-mate Cedric Brunner, who is currently a free agent after leaving Schalke last season. He is also studying psychology and together we formed 99%, a movement to talk about mental health in sport. We are not sure yet if it will become a club or a foundation. We want to talk openly and remove the stigma surrounding mental health.
We organise events and panel discussions, where we invite guests who have experienced such situations to break the taboo. We had an exhibition with photos of different high-profile people such as athletes, musicians and a TV chef, who spoke about mental health and what it means to them. We also brought out a magazine. I have a podcast, Cic-Off Talk, where I speak to Cedric about these issues. He spoke about the pressure at Schalke, which was huge.
It is important we speak about these things, especially amongst men, as men are generally not open about this. Men sometimes feel their role is to provide, and that their emotions and feelings are not important. We want to change that. We want to teach that you can be the provider, but also speak about what is going on in your head and your heart.